Losing a loved one is the greatest loss one can experience in their life, and the process of grieving does not look the same for everyone. While some may find themselves closer to the loved one that they have lost when they make dua for visiting the graves of their loved one, it can be a toll taking or a triggering experience for many others.
Visiting the graves of loved ones is a reminder that death is inevitable and we all will be returning to Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى sooner or later. It is an important part of our faith that we acknowledge that there is a life after this world, and we need to prepare for the life hereafter.
One must be careful when visiting the graves as certain etiquettes and rules should be followed. An important one being narrated by Abdullah bin Umar and reported in Sahih Muslim 930, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said that the dead are punished because of the lamenting of the living. Therefore, it is forbidden to cry on the graves out loud.
Sickness & Death Duas
Assalaamu 'alaykum 'ahlad-diyaari, minal-mu'mineena walmuslimeena, wa 'innaa 'in shaa' Allaahu bikum laahiqoona [wa yarhamullaahul-mustaqdimeena minnaa walmusta'khireena] 'as'alullaaha lanaa wa lakumul- 'aafiyata.
Peace be upon you, people of this abode, from among the believers and those who are Muslims, and we, by the Will of Allah, shall be joining you. May Allah have mercy on the first of us and the last of us) I ask Allah to grant us and you strength.
Do not sit and lament or wail on the grave when visiting it. The Prophet also forbade praying by prayer mat on the graves. Stepping on the graves is also forbidden, and one should respect the sanctity of the graveyard.
Different schools of thought have varying take on whether women should be visiting the graves of their loved ones or not. Be solemn in your prayer and reflect that we will be here one day. While life is temporary, we must be mindful of what and how we live through this life.
When you visit the graveyard and make dua, it gives you an insight into your life and makes you reflect on your lifestyle and how you are crafting your life's path. Losing one’s loved ones is hard, but it is a loss that one only can endure rather than run away from.
While grieving, visiting their grave can help one find closure and comfort. It helps one find solace and the feeling that their loved ones are in a better place. It also strengthens one’s spiritual connection with Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى and makes one realize that we should prepare ourselves because we have to return to him and we should return as the best version of ourselves.